When most people hear the word "ego," they think of arrogance.
You might think of that one guy in college who had a big ego.
You know the type. He was so conceited and full of himself. Selfish, unconscious and destructive with his "my way or the highway" mentality.
The challenging thing about this socially-accepted definition of the word "ego", is it tends to be confusing for those of us that the ego expresses as the opposite.
In fear. Or in unworthiness. That is still ego.
In simple terms, the ego is learned patterns of behavior and beliefs that make up your personality. It is, to some degree, your sense of identity.
An aspect of our egos is a method of coping and defense. Its very nature is to "protect us" from the unknown and keep us comfortable.
The human ego expresses outwardly along a spectrum. One side of the spectrum can be this cocky arrogance I referred to above, but the other side is feelings of complete worthlessness, or for me, it's fear.
I see a lot of "spiritual teaching" on the internet that talks about the death of the ego. That you have to kill the ego in order to evolve. That is simply not true, as humans will never be completely without ego. It is a construct of the mind and as long as you have a mind, you will have an ego.
The work becomes learning the ego so intimately that we can identify when it is driving the ship. And then focus on healing the wounds of the subconscious; the wounds that created the beliefs and the defense-mechanisms of the ego in the first place.
We all have trauma. And our trauma has informed our individual egos and how that ego expresses itself through our words, actions, beliefs and patterns of behavior.
These wounds are not always easy to pinpoint their origin, but acknowledging and honoring the fact that they exist is an important aspect of this work.
When I am fully aligned to the Spirit of God, when I have clarity and peace about my mission here on earth and what I am here to do, I am confident, well-spoken and sure of my next step. (Perhaps to some people, that might be perceived as arrogance, cocky or having a big ego. But other people's perception of me is none of my business.)
However, I know that when my ego acts up, I am fearful, timid and overwhelmed. I cower from opportunity, I doubt my ability to serve and help others. I question my shaky voice and whether or not I have what it takes to make a difference in the world.
The "evolution" we desire as we work through layers of our healing, is aligningthe ego and the spirit. So that the expression of your ego is the expression of your spirit. So your thoughts, beliefs, and patterns of behavior are in alignment to the soul.
We don't need to kill the ego.
We need to heal the ego.
But we can't heal what we wont look at. Or what we are not ready to see.
Have a look inside.
Cheering for you.
I love you,