Shame is Stupid.
Shame is easily the most destructive emotion we have. The problem with shame is it masks the real emotion surrounding a circumstance or experience, so you only ever feel the shame instead of the emotions that actually need feeling.
The single most healing thing we can do for ourselves, (or others) is to create a safe space to bare our shame.
“Wear your scarlet letter”
“Carry your cross”
“Receive your judgement”
"Hide your shame"
I say: All that is bullshit.
Sharing your shame with someone safe does not simply reduce your emotional burden, but it actually creates more space inside of you. It’s healing. It increases your capacity to process and release any and all of your emotional burdens. So, the thing(s) that seemed so overwhelming and painful for so long, all of a sudden, seem a little less so.
If you take an honest look at your life, the “things” or experiences that usually need the most healing are the ones that are culturally considered to be the most shameful.
Maybe you got really drunk at a party and you were raped, but you don’t really know if you're a victim or if it was your fault.
Maybe you were emotionally or physically abused by someone while you were actively telling the whole world he/she was taking care of you.
Maybe your parent had an affair with someone close to you.
Maybe you’ve made poor choice after poor choice in regards to the people you’ve slept with.
Maybe you've had "suicidal thoughts" and they scare the shit out of you.
Maybe your partner turned out to be a douchebag and your family was right.
Maybe you have an eating disorder or body dysmorphia or you cut yourself sometimes.
Maybe you're fucking confused about your sexuality.
Maybe there are 1000 reasons why you feel shame. But shame is stupid. Feel angry, or remorseful, or hurt, or sad or grief-stricken, or any other emotion under the sun, but be done with shame. Because shame is stupid.
If you find the thing in your life that carries most of your shame and you share it with someone safe, you will know a freedom you never knew existed.
You do not have to carry your shame alone.
You do not deserve to be punished.
You can be free.