I half-jokingly announced that I was writing a book called "I Don't Know What I Am Doing."
And I was so gratefully humbled and tickled by people's response to that.
Why would someone pick up such a weird book?
But it is the truth. I don't know what I am doing. (Do any of us?!)
But I think the point of all this human stuff is to become very comfortable with what you don't know.
There is a direct correlation between one's ability to be comfortable in the unknown and one's measurable contentment, joy, and peace in life.
And Peace is the name of the game.
And peace in the face of uncertainty, trauma, loss, stress, fear, etc is just one of the zillions of benefits of the experience of peace.
I am finding, the best way I can cultivate more peace - and I mean like true, deep to your core peace - is to eliminate it's opposite.
I don't know what I am doing, but I DO know that as I intentionally attempt to reduce the chaos, in my external and internal experience, the peace grows. (...or fluctuates, or appears, or pops in, or runs up your spine, or glows, or bubbles, or waves, or whatever peace feels like to you.)
In my experience, the only way I have even flirted with the idea of reducing chaos, especially in the mind, has been to go into the depths of my heart and my subconscious and intentionally be with everything/anything that still needs healing.
I continue to be blessed with opportunities to grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, whatever; At the expense of, a willingness to look deeper and more honestly at myself.
The willingness is the key part here.
This is happening by looking at the way these things show up in how I express myself (or don't) in day-to-day life.
A more aware witness to my ego, my habits, my patterns, the awesome stuff about me and the less than awesome stuff about me. My past, my pain, my traumas and the way I identify with them, the things outside of me that I use to determine who I am, my accountability or lack thereof, in the significant circumstances in my life, my worth and how I establish(ed) that, my relationship to others, to myself, and my place in the world, and the list goes on.
It's intense, man.
But I have met the Light that animates my existence. I am gifted with amazing miracles so incredibly often, I see tremendous beauty everywhere I go, I have seen, felt, touched something that goes completely beyond words...
I have to keep going on this journey. I can't turn around now.
The Peace that I hunger for can only be found from that which I came.
Crazy, amazing, beautiful, TERRIFYING, wonderful, intense, magical, and UNCOMFORTABLE things are happening.
But I am getting better at being uncomfortable.
The only route to peace is paved directly through discomfort. It's up to me to make the journey.
So, for Thanksgiving this year, I am having a double helping of humble pie.
Because I know what is supplying the energy behind this work, and I trust it with every fiber of my being.
So, if this is the trade off, I should probably just go ahead and put all my chips on the table.
Maybe this is the introduction to the book. ;)
Anyways, that's what I'm doing.
Cheering for you all the while!
All the love!
Would love to chat or answer any questions you have! I have tons of books/resources I would recommend if any of this stuff is pushing your buttons, or flipping your switch, or ringing your bell, or landing, or absorbing, or sinking in, or whatever that feels like to you.