One of my most challenging and ongoing lessons is reminding myself that whatever is happening around me does not, in fact, need to disrupt my peace.
I once referred to myself as a recovering people pleaser, because the "people pleaser software" runs wayyy deep in the subconscious.
What it actually means to be a people pleaser is, "I am not ok unless everyone around me is ok."
And I'm not sure if you've noticed, but the humans are not always ok.
So, since my peace was predicated on the ok-ness of the people around me, my life was defined by emotional chaos.
I've only come face to face with this concept in the last year or so.
One day it occurred to me that my peace was in the hands of whoever wanted a piece of it. (And that is a terrifying place for your peace to be.)
In the midst of an emotional storm, or even just a little hiccup, of someone close to me, I learned that I am actually of better service to them by maintaining my peace.
And I am in far better service to myself to be the one in charge of how I feel on the inside.
You are in charge of how you feel.
If you wanna be mad or sad or frustrated or tired or scared or whatever, that's fine, but let it be in your choice and in your control. (I'm gonna talk about being in choice in how you feel tomorrow probs, so put an asterisk here because I'll likely contradict this statement slightly. ;))
By trying to please the people, you end up destroying yourself, and sometimes even harming the relationship anyways. It's a lose-lose-lose situation here.
I am in charge of my inner peace. I will protect it as if my life depended on it.
Because in a lot of ways, it does.