2018 was the absolute best year of my life, without a doubt.
I got to see so much of this beautiful earth.
I got to experience myself in ways I had never before.
I felt the overwhelming love of God from people that know and support me, so many beautiful strangers that I passed on the streets, at the beach or on a plane, and from God, himself.
And as I sit here now in sunny, southern California, there is an obvious contrast to the way this year was supposed to end.
It certainly hasn't gone as planned.
But in the supposed to's and the should have's is the suffering.
As many people ask why I am back in the states, and what my plan is and blah, blah, blah, I am now at the crossroads of how I want to imprint this entire last year into my memory.
How you recall a certain situation is how you will remember it.
The story that you retell over and over to your family, friends, your dentist, or whoever, is how your experiences will stay in your mind for years to come. Even for the rest of your life.
I have a choice. How do I want to frame this?
I will forever look back on this year and every experience in it, as the most love-filled and joyful season of my life. (So far.)
I will remember this year as the pivot point when everything changed because I fell madly in love with myself.
I will remember this year as the most blessed and beautiful experience, ever.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the love and generosity I was shown. I am a better person because of it.
But if I only focus on what the end of this year was supposed to look like, then I'd miss all of that.
And I was there for a few days, trust me. Ya girl is not that mindful, yet. It's so perfectly human to get lost in the disappointments and hurts of life.
The goal is: just don't stay there.
Since I have a very nosey family and friends, and support system, (love 'em, but damn.) I realized how important it is for me to decide how I want to remember this year, this relationship, and all the experiences that have led me to this exact moment.
I am the creator of my reality after all.
So, I'll be over here focusing on all the beautiful things I felt/experienced/tasted this year. All the things I want more of.
Love, laughter, vulnerable tears, safe spaces, joyful hearts, kindness, gentleness, beauty.
Because any amount of those things is definitely worth a few tears from time to time.
Cheers to whatever's next. And since I create my life, I have a feeling it's going to be pretty amazing.
Sending you all the love and joy in the world.
Be so very blessed this Christmas.
Give someone you love a big squeeze.
I just read this cute little saying on the IG:
"Magic happens when you do not give up even though you want to. The Universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart."
Looks like me and the Universe are a match made in heaven.