I've been telling the same story for 3 years now. I have felt the necessity to explain why my life is where it is at this moment. To justify my reasonings for leaving my husband. To make sure people knew that it wasn't my fault that I was divorced at 31.
But, I'm kind of sick of it. It sounds tired and played out when I say it now.
An old friend from high school reached out to me the other day. She was actually in my wedding but I haven't spoken to her since I left my ex.
I told her, "I'm not sure if I told you or not, but I left him last year." And then I typed out that same old story, my justification and reasoning as to why I left him. Like I owed her, or anyone, an explanation of my decision.
But then I deleted the message.
Instead I wrote, "I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to create the life of my dreams."
Focusing on the present is so much more fun than focusing on the past.
I think for a while I felt like I wasn't worthy of the new life I was creating without explaining the hurt and heartache I had experienced.
I think I had so much shame around the end of my marriage that I couldn't lose the attachment to the identity I created as a victim.
And then one day, I just made the decision to lose the story. To lose the drama and be free.
The weight of the shame and attachment I had carried for years literally just fell off.
The choice was as simple as, "do you want cream and sugar in your coffee?" Heck yes, I do.
Your mind... your thoughts, beliefs, and words.... literally create the circumstances of your life. Listen to what is happening between your ears. If you're unhappy, you're probably focusing on all the things you have to be unhappy about. You're probably telling everyone you meet why you're the most unhappy person and justifying how it's completely out of your control. You probably have a false belief somewhere in your subconscious that you actually don't deserve to be happy.
You are stronger and smarter than your mind.
Change your story. Choose your words intelligently. Create the life you want by focusing on the things that are in your life and are already GOOD.
Because you have to capacity and the power to create the life of your dreams. You just have to wake up to the behaviors that are keeping you stuck in your current situation.
You can do it.
I'm cheering for you.