This has been a super tough few months for me.
Starting over, moving to a new place, honoring and releasing the past, healing and nurturing my sweet, gentle heart; all while trying to create a life for myself from scratch. A life I am proud of.
I’m finding the balance between loving myself unconditionally on the hard days, and reminding myself of my gifts on the days I am capable of more. I have come face-to-face with old wounds and new ones.
I’ve compared myself to others, I’ve doubted what I am capable of, I’ve questioned my purpose here. I’ve felt fear, grief, and anger. (Lots of anger.) Some days, I am the worst version of myself.
As I find myself with less to share publicly in this season, I will embrace and love that side of me too. The side of me that isn’t so boldly confident. The side of me that struggles with anxiety and people’s perception of me. The side of me that has so much fear that I become paralyzed and do nothing at all.
I have poured out from the depths of my soul for others my entire life and I am finally learning how to save some of that medicine for myself. Which is why I haven’t been writing, or posting, or creating, or sharing.
Yes, I am a manifestation of the Creator in form. Yes, my soul is part of the most beautiful and loving God.
But, I am also just a human. Just like everyone else. Trying to learn who I am by unlearning everything I thought I was.
I am feeling more settled and grounded. I am making friends. I am interviewing for an AMAZING job (it’s looking like I’ll get it! 🙌🏼). I’m spending time with my sweet sister and my adorable nephew. I laugh a lot. I share my heart and my feelings. I challenge people to meet me in a space vulnerability and honesty. I am fully aligned to the love and goodness of God.
Life is a beautiful dream.
I’m safe, warm, fed, loved and blessed beyond belief.
And I am eternally grateful.
Cheering for you,
I’d love to hear how you’re doing. Send me a email if you’re powering through a tough season as well. We’re all in this together
Thank you, Alicia for the kick in the pants I needed to start writing again! Love you!