Heal the Body, Heal the Mind

I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 15 and was on antidepressants for more than half of my life. 

I started having intense panic attacks in college. (Usually involving marijuana - but I ignored that little contributing factor.) 

I have fought tooth and nail against laziness, sleepiness, lethargy, lack of motivation and stuckness for as long as I can remember. 

My mind was sick. That was the agreed upon "truth". That was my reality. It was a "chemical imbalance." It was out of my control.

Just medicate her and tip toe around her emotions. 

"Coincidentally", I also started having digestive issues in my teens. IBS, bloating, stomach cramping, and intense pain. (Usually involving bread and soda, but I ignored those little contributing factors, too.) 

I didn't know my body was weeping from the inside. Begging to be cared for. 

I looked "healthy" in the mirror, so that's what really matters right? 

Well now I am 33. And just in the last month I have come face-to-face with the destructive patterns of how I have treated my body for almost 2 decades. 

I have a long road ahead on my journey to health, but here is what I have learned. 

• The body and the mind are absolutely, without a doubt, I-can't-freaking-believe-it-took-me-this-long-to-realize-it connected.
• Heal your body, heal your mind... and vice versa. 
• What you put in your face WILL, without question, affect the condition of your mind/mood/mental state/attitude and overall outlook on life. 

So, here's what I am doing about it for now... I intend to evolve it as my body communicates what it needs. 

• No gluten. Not now, not ever. 
• No refined or processed sugar.(Except for the occasional 80%+ dark chocolate bar 'cause come on. I am still human.) 
• No booze. (I will fo' sho' insert a sad face emoji over a glass of rose, but I've decided the quality of my entire life is more important.)
• I've added 10-20mg of CBD supplement everyday. 
• Probiotics and some good microorganisms from dirt to help rebuild the gut flora.
• Loving-kindness meditations. Actively sending love and compassion to my belly. (Yes, thats a thing people do.)

Anyways. I am telling you this for 2 reasons. 

One, because this is on my mind/heart/soul and this is my blog, so you get what you get. ;)

Two, because if you are suffering in any capacity, you have the power and authority to fix it. 

Whether it be mind or body, you are capable of healing yourself. 

Believing you can be healed is the first step. 

Believing you can do it your damn self is the second. 

After that, you're ready for your freakin' journey, man. 

I'll keep you posted on how we go. I am already noticing such a tremendous difference in myself, my life, my mind, my mood, my motivation, my relationships, my suffering (or lack of)..... soooo, I think it's working. 

What need your loving-kindness? Your body or your mind?? 

That was a trick question. The answer is both.