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The Defiant Dreamer. 

Feelings are Weird.

7/13/2018

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I pretty much operate from my feelings and emotions about 100% of the time. Give or take.

I navigate this crazy world based on how I feel; Based on what is presenting itself in my body and my emotional reaction to any particular situation.

For the most part, it serves me really well. Sometimes however, I'm way wrong, and how I feel about a situation is not necessarily the reality. (But I'll talk more about that another day.)

Today, I feel unsettled. Distracted. Unmotivated and uninspired.

So much so, that in the in middle of my yoga practice, I felt like I  needed/wanted to cry.

But I was not getting a clear message or understanding from the body as to what was actually going on.

In the past, when my relationship with myself and my emotions was stressful, confusing and misunderstood, I would have aggressively demanded of myself to declare what was wrong. "Give me the story you crazy brain, I can't take the unknown."
But I'm different now because I am gentle with myself. I give myself the freedom to feel whatever is there regardless of whether it "makes sense" or is "justified."

I just lovingly said to myself, "You're safe. You can feel."

So, I did. I felt physical expressions of uncertainty, fear, and inadequacy.

I looked at those feelings. I looked at the way they felt inside my body - heaviness, pressure, gaping holes, resistance, etc. - and I just made space for them.

I actually don't really care what the story is. I don't need to know why I am feeling fear in this moment. And it honestly wouldn't serve me right now away. (I don't need the mind running away with some crazy nonsense story about all the things I am trying, yet feel inadequate to do.)

So I sat a few moments, simply acknowledged that I was feeling- what some might call - unpleasant emotions, and I observed the way those particular emotions actually felt inside me. I described it with words like I used above.

Then, they just left.
This practice is one I now incorporate into my every day life. I am such an emotionally charged, empathetic, sensitive, feeler-type person. Before this practice existed for me, I was just a tornado of emotions, wrecking havoc in my life and the lives of those I love.

Now, I can use the emotional system inside my body to help me make decisions, to identify suffering in other people and to offer  goodness and more love to the world. 

Anyway, just want to encourage my other feeler friends out there. Give you a real life example of what feel your feels actually means.

You can do it.
I'm cheering for you.
C

P.S. I'm sending out an email about debt soon. Its about me getting out of it and helping other people get out of theirs. Its fucking uncomfortable to talk about, but I said I was gonna do it so I gotta do it.

P.P.S. Just remember how amazing and wonderful and magical you truly are. Your life is what you create. So, create wisely. :)
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