I posted a video on insta yesterday and the people went ape shit over it.
It was just a silly little talking video about being awesome and I guess it just landed with so many people!
Isn’t it funny how we have no idea how we can impact people’s lives until we do?!
So, I wanted to send a follow-up email about how important it is to think you’re awesome. Cuz you are. And you should definitely believe with every ounce of your being how incredibly awesome you truly are.
This is is what happens when you think you’re awesome:
But don't take my word for it.
Start thinking that you're awesome and find out for yourself.
You can do it.
I'm cheering for you.
P.s. I am sorry not sorry that I used the word awesome 12 times in this post. Awesomesauce only once.
P.P.S. Technically 13 and twice, respectively.
I've been telling the same story for 3 years now. I have felt the necessity to explain why my life is where it is at this moment. To justify my reasonings for leaving my husband. To make sure people knew that it wasn't my fault that I was divorced at 31.
But, I'm kind of sick of it. It sounds tired and played out when I say it now.
An old friend from high school reached out to me the other day. She was actually in my wedding but I haven't spoken to her since I left my ex.
I told her, "I'm not sure if I told you or not, but I left him last year." And then I typed out that same old story, my justification and reasoning as to why I left him. Like I owed her, or anyone, an explanation of my decision.
But then I deleted the message.
Instead I wrote, "I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to create the life of my dreams."
Focusing on the present is so much more fun than focusing on the past.
I think for a while I felt like I wasn't worthy of the new life I was creating without explaining the hurt and heartache I had experienced.
I think I had so much shame around the end of my marriage that I couldn't lose the attachment to the identity I created as a victim.
And then one day, I just made the decision to lose the story. To lose the drama and be free.
The weight of the shame and attachment I had carried for years literally just fell off.
The choice was as simple as, "do you want cream and sugar in your coffee?" Heck yes, I do.
Your mind... your thoughts, beliefs, and words.... literally create the circumstances of your life. Listen to what is happening between your ears. If you're unhappy, you're probably focusing on all the things you have to be unhappy about. You're probably telling everyone you meet why you're the most unhappy person and justifying how it's completely out of your control. You probably have a false belief somewhere in your subconscious that you actually don't deserve to be happy.
You are stronger and smarter than your mind.
Change your story. Choose your words intelligently. Create the life you want by focusing on the things that are in your life and are already GOOD.
Because you have to capacity and the power to create the life of your dreams. You just have to wake up to the behaviors that are keeping you stuck in your current situation.
You can do it.
I'm cheering for you.
I am in the middle of creating lots of cool shit.
My sister and I have been having lots of chats lately about our dharma. (Dharma is your soul's purpose for being on this earth, in this life, in this body, with your experiences, etc.) People spend their entire lives not even knowing they have a dharma, let alone what that dharma actually is.
I'm not entirely sure just yet how my dharma will manifest itself as far as the work that I will be doing, but I am feeling more and more confident that it has something to do with creating space for people.
Space for people to be seen and heard.
Space for people to explore their own hearts.
Space for people to heal and grow and to step into their own divine power.
So, until I get some insight that that is no longer the case, I am gonna drive this creation train in that direction with all my might.
Even if no one wants it.
It's not my job to convince people of their need of what I am offering. It's only my job to offer it.
I just want to create space for you.
If you could use some space, and you support what I am doing, please consider sharing me with your friends, purchasing my yoga class or signing up for my journaling projects.
That little voice in my head is trying to fuck everything up again.
I go in these waves of spending days feeling like I am on fire and I'm going to heal the hearts of the whole entire world....
...and then Little Me starts creeping in, trying to put me back in my place. Then I spend a few days feeling defeated or uninspired.
If you've done either of the Journaling Projects, you're probably familiar with your Little Me. The little voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough or qualified enough or experienced enough, or no one will like your stuff or whatever else....
But just because you know where the dragon lives, doesn't mean you've slayed it.
I spend, what I would consider, an above-average amount of time observing my mind, my thoughts and my emotions. However, the next step in growth is acting in spite of whatever "Little Me" is telling you.
So, right now I am creating another journaling project called the 7-Day Emotional Healing Journaling Project. I am creating a 7-week interactive online coaching program to help people overcome their past, step into their power and create their dream life through manifestation and positive thinking. I am in the midst of building an online course program and studying to be an Applied Positive Psychology Coach. AND! I'm writing a book outline.
Yesterday, I felt amazing about all the things I was creating. I felt confident that people are starting to trust me and they are opening up to me and they will buy my stuff and support me on my journey to reach more people.
Today however, Little Me says naaahhhh.
"You're not qualified to do this."
"People can download journal prompts off the internet."
"YouTube has millions of beginner yoga classes for free."
"People are not going to pay for a coaching program."
"You literally have no idea how to write a book."
Anyway, I guess the reason I am sharing this is so that I can act in spite of what my scared little me is telling me. I am not my thoughts and I know I have goodness and love to give to this world.
So, if you're like me, a human, I just want to encourage you to keep going. Keep creating. Keep putting your heart out there.
Even and especially when you're terrified.
The world needs you.
And it needs me, too.
Shame is Stupid.
Shame is easily the most destructive emotion we have. The problem with shame is it masks the real emotion surrounding a circumstance or experience, so you only ever feel the shame instead of the emotions that actually need feeling.
The single most healing thing we can do for ourselves, (or others) is to create a safe space to bare our shame.
“Wear your scarlet letter”
“Carry your cross”
“Receive your judgement”
"Hide your shame"
I say: All that is bullshit.
Sharing your shame with someone safe does not simply reduce your emotional burden, but it actually creates more space inside of you. It’s healing. It increases your capacity to process and release any and all of your emotional burdens. So, the thing(s) that seemed so overwhelming and painful for so long, all of a sudden, seem a little less so.
If you take an honest look at your life, the “things” or experiences that usually need the most healing are the ones that are culturally considered to be the most shameful.
Maybe you got really drunk at a party and you were raped, but you don’t really know if you're a victim or if it was your fault.
Maybe you were emotionally or physically abused by someone while you were actively telling the whole world he/she was taking care of you.
Maybe your parent had an affair with someone close to you.
Maybe you’ve made poor choice after poor choice in regards to the people you’ve slept with.
Maybe you've had "suicidal thoughts" and they scare the shit out of you.
Maybe your partner turned out to be a douchebag and your family was right.
Maybe you have an eating disorder or body dysmorphia or you cut yourself sometimes.
Maybe you're fucking confused about your sexuality.
Maybe there are 1000 reasons why you feel shame. But shame is stupid. Feel angry, or remorseful, or hurt, or sad or grief-stricken, or any other emotion under the sun, but be done with shame. Because shame is stupid.
If you find the thing in your life that carries most of your shame and you share it with someone safe, you will know a freedom you never knew existed.
You do not have to carry your shame alone.
You do not deserve to be punished.
You can be free.
I love lists.
Grocery lists, shopping lists, to-do lists. Tell me to make a list and I am a happy girl.
I started working with a coach and he instructed me to make a "100 Things" list about myself. He gave me some prompts and some ideas, but I didn't use them. I just sat down and started typing. It took me almost 4 hours over the course of 2 days.
It's basically just an expanded version of the first day of the Self-Reflection Journaling Project. But, 100 is a lot of things to write about yourself. (I think I'll edit the 7DJP for future participants and make them do 100.) Anyway, you should do it. Just for funsies. Send it to me if you want. Or send me some of the ones that surprised you. I would love to hear what comes up for you. :)
Here are a few of the juicy ones from my list:
6. I am a happy and joyful person. But my mind is super dark sometimes. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at age 15 and was treated by family like I was a ticking emotional time bomb. I’m struggling now with deciding if I actually have a chemical imbalance that contributes to depression or if the conditioning of being diagnosed/medicated/treated for depression made me depressed. What do other people’s minds sound like in their head?
9. I was so happy when my ex-husband cheated on me. It meant I had an out and didn't have to feel guilty for leaving the marriage.
10. Most of the grief I felt when my marriage ended was more about how I felt ashamed of being divorced, not over leaving my husband.
18. I am so in love with Jesus but I am disenfranchised with the Christian church. Some of the best experiences I've had are with people I know that don’t practice christianity and some of the worst experiences I've had are with people that do.
23. I am addicted to my phone and I fucking hate it. Sometimes I get lost scrolling and then I feel like shit for hours afterwards. But I do it anyway, even though I know i am going to feel like shit.
28. I used to hate children and was so closed off to the idea of ever having them. I realize now, that I have only ever been with shitty men that would make shitty fathers and that's why I didn't want children. I didn't treat my body well and I told myself for years I wouldn't make a good mother. I wonder if I’ve karmically hurt my chances at getting pregnant. Because I actually think I would make a fantastic mother.
39. I used to cry all the time. there was a period of more than 8 months where I cried every single day. My emotional baseline was just one step above tears, so if anything rocked my boat, I would always cry. If I was sad or overwhelmed, or angry or scared or frustrated, I would cry. But I was never a happy crier. Thats changed now. I cry happy tears all the time.
66. Learning about the spirituality and science of yoga gave me so much hope. I was so frustrated with organized religion and had been just trying to find my own path to God. Turns out, God is actually inside you and the church doesn't really want you to know that.
69. Sometimes I feel guilty that all of my prayers are being answered and all of my dreams are coming true.
74. I used to smoke a shit ton of weed. Now, i just smoke a little bit of weed.
88. “Give Zero Fucks” has been the most transformative mindset I have ever come across.
You are a magical collection of cells, and every single experience you have ever had in your whole life is so valid and contributes to the creation of what makes you so wonderful. Look at every part of you. You are gem, so explore every facet of you who are you. Even the not-so-pretty parts.
The world is waiting for you to shine your light, but you have to know yourself first.
You can say no.
You can say no to people, ya know.
You can say no to plans, activities, requests, "obligations" or anything else for that matter that is asked of you in order to protect your energy.
You don't have to go to that family function. You don't have to maintain a relationship with that toxic person just because you've known them forever. You don't have to babysit your friend's shitty dog while they go on vacation. You don't have to cover that shift at work. You don't have to bleed out for anyone, at any time, for any reason, EVER.
YOU CAN SAY NO.
And you should say no! As a recovering people pleaser, I used to say yes to everything. Even when I knew that I was going to be miserable the whole time. But I felt bad saying no. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I didn't want anyone to be inconvenienced. So, they go on swimmingly, completely oblivious, and I'm over here just suffering.
You are the only person that can protect your heart and your energy. Give yourself permission to say no. Put the needs, comfort, safety, and happiness of YOU above anyone else. You'll be surprised at how well you can love other people when you love yourself first.
"To protect your energy-
It's ok to cancel a commitment.
It's ok to not answer a call.
It's ok to change your mind.
It's ok to want to be alone.
It's ok to take a day off.
It's ok to do nothing.
It's ok to speak up.
It's ok to let go. "
(I didn't write that, but I love it.)
Reflect or journal on a few examples when you said yes when you most definitely should have said no.
Begin exercising your right to say no. Boundaries are the very best form of self-love.
You can do it.
I'm cheering for you.
I think there is this false belief that all yogis are in love with their practice. Well, maybe it's not a false belief actually, because most of the yogis I know, (the real yogis, that is... not just the posture people) they really are in love with their practice.
To them, the day can not begin without their practice. It is the medicine to every ailment and the solution to every problem. They can forward fold and Om their way into perfect humanness. From the outside, it doesn't seem to require any discipline or effort on their part to get on the mat. It's amazing to witness.
But also a little disheartening because I like to consider myself a yogi, but my practice doesn't feel even close to that for me. Most days, just getting on the mat is a chore. It's a project. Some days, it literally feels impossible. And -gasp!- somedays I don't practice at all.
Today, I forced myself to get on my mat. Even though I was mentally feeling good, the body was a little stiff so I thought a little yoga might serve me well. So, after about 40 minutes of movement and then 25 minutes of breath and meditation, I felt amazing!
Fast forward 2 hours and I'm crying in my room. wtf. I thought yoga was medicine? I thought I was doing something good for myself. Why am I crying?!
So, I laid there and felt whatever was happening in the body. I observed movement and pressure in the belly, I witnessed a sensation that I can only describe as a puncture or a needle in the side abdomen, and tension and twitching down the outside of one leg.
I let the body speak to me. I felt emotions of fear, vulnerability, weakness. The mind told me that I am unloveable in this condition. The mind said, "no one wants to see this side of you."
But that side of me is valid. The side of me that fights to get on the mat is valid. The side of me that loves the yoga one day and despises it the next - is valid. The side of me that tells people that meditation would help them so much while I struggle with my own consistent meditation practice - also valid.
So what's the point?
I really don't know. I just want to encourage you. Don't believe the myth that yoga feels amazing all the time. MOST times, doing yoga stirs up whatever is lying just under your surface, so sometimes, doing yoga can even make you feel "worse". But thats why we practice. I'd rather stir up my own shit on my terms, than wait until a conversation or interaction stirs up my shit and then it comes boiling over unexpectedly.
If you do yoga and somedays you hate it, I want to encourage you. If you've considered trying yoga but you keep talking yourself out of it, I want to encourage you. If you're one of these amazing superhuman yogi's that are in love with your practice, I want to encourage you, as well.
Yoga is a journey. Life is a journey. Stir up your own shit. Keep doing the very best you can and goodness will always be abounding in your life. Even on your bad days.