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The Defiant Dreamer. 

You Can Find Me Grateful-Weeping at Starbucks on the Reg.

4/23/2019

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When was the last time you wept in gratitude? 

When you felt so thankful for everything and everyone in your life -even the things and people that have hurt you in some way - that you can't hold the emotion in any more and it comes pouring out in the magical, alchemical presence of tears. 

For me, it was about 10 minutes ago in my meditation. And then once yesterday. And then three different times on Sunday.

Before that, it was in my car on the highway, or the ever interesting experience of grateful-weeping at Starbucks or at a cafe´ in Valencia. 

I think if I had to choose one thing about my personality that is different from other people is this overwhelming, beautiful gratitude I carry with me everywhere. 

I am so thankful for the way God has continued to show up time after time after time after time with abundance and miracles; that fuels my fire of relentless trust and surrender to His goodness. 

I am so thankful for the people that continue to support, help, pour out and encourage me; that inspires me to keep doing my own work. To keep growing toward that beautiful future version of myself that I already know and intimately love. 

I am so thankful to every soul that allows me into their sacred space, that shares personal details of their stories and their hearts with me; they remind me of my gifts that I was given the day my soul was formed, so that I could show people how loved and magical they truly are. I can show you the Divinity inside you, if you let me. 

I used to just be overwhelmed. 

All the time, unable to decipher my emotions from the person's across from me. I used to be overwhelmed with all the work that needed to be done, that I couldn't bring myself to start. I used to doubt myself and my worth and my abilities. I used to want to be like everyone else and couldn't understand why I couldn't get myself there. I used to be heavy, sad, fearful and just overwhelmed. And I used to be REALLY good at hiding all of this from everyone, including you.

I am different now. If you haven't sat across from me in the past 3 months, then I am not the same person you once knew.

The moment that I finally loved myself and my life the way God loves me, is when everything changed. 

I encourage you to do a gratitude assessment on your life. I wonder if you can focus on how overwhelmingly thankful you are that it moves you to tears. 

In that movement, in those tears, you will find God. 

Cheering for you,
C
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I'm not Afraid of my Power Anymore.

4/2/2019

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I have had a profound shift over the past ten days or so. 

It's actually been really beautiful to witness and it's had such a simplicity to it. 

Not like an Aha! moment or some huge revelation, but I just woke up one day and realized the truth that I have been afraid of my power my whole life. 

And I'm not scared of that shit anymore. 

For most of my life, I have always known that there was something special about me. That God gave me certain gifts to speak to people's hearts, to encourage and inspire. But there was a big part of me that was afraid of my power and of these gifts because I felt unworthy or ashamed to live my life in confidence of who I am or what my purpose is. 

I was afraid that people wouldn't want to be around me if I stepped up to claim the power I was given.  I was afraid I would push people away. 

So, I have always taken the back seat to other people's feelings. I have always put other people's goals and dreams ahead of my own, in hopes that if they saw how helpful I am, they wouldn't reject me. (Fear of abandonment is probably my #1 trigger.) 

I have lived my entire life out of alignment with my soul's purpose for the sake of the approval of others. 

And that is some bullshit right there. 

What I have learned is that whether or not I decide to embrace my power, it has zero affect on how people choose to react to me. Some people are going to reject me regardless of what I am doing. And it actually has nothing to do with me at all.

I am not afraid of my power anymore. I am not afraid of shining my big, beautiful light. I am not afraid of who I was Divinely created to be. 

Because she is amazing. 

And brilliant. And holds otherworldly capacities to love. 

I don't want to waste any more time doubting myself and missing out on opportunities to add more love to this world. 

After a few months of seclusion, tons of self-reflection, meditation and self-love, I am done hiding. 

I am ready to do God's work in this magical world we live in. I am ready to step into my power fully, and I am not afraid of what will happen when I do. Because I am overwhelmingly loved and supported by the entire universe. 
 
---

 
It's important to note that: we are all the same. So, if this is true for me, then it is absolutely true for you. 

Stop doubting who you are and why you are here. 

Stop downplaying your gifts or being modest about what you're good at. 

The intricate tapestry of what makes you you is MAGIC, and was Divinely created. 

The sooner you embrace those things, the sooner the entire world will open up to you.

I've figured out the magical keys to the universe. This is one of them. Sit with yourself long enough to find the things within your heart that are holding you back. Everything comes back to self-love. 

You can do it.

I'm cheering for you, 
C




I have officially launched my business as a Wellness and Life Coach. Please check out my new, shiny website and let me know what you think! www.collettepatricia.com  (Yay!)

This blog has been absolutely instrumental in allowing me to practice flushing out ideas and presenting myself as a Life Coach, in some form. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here and for following along. Please share me with your friends! 

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LOVE YOUUUU! 
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    Writer, Dreamer, Encourager

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