Welp, I am still job hunting.
The awesome thing about California is that there are SO many opportunities here. The problem with California is that there are sooooo many people competing for the same opportunities.
As I have tweaked my resume´ about 400 times, something hilarious and awesome occurred to me.
The only thing I have more experience in, besides doing hair, (and having my heart smashed into a thousand pieces- but that doesn't really serve on a resume´ apparently) is consuming cannabis.
The other funny thing is that now that I live in a state where cannabis is legal, my experience and knowledge of the plant and the ways that I have used it to help with my anxiety and depression, are actually wildly beneficial and marketable.
AND! My strong desire to help people expand their consciousness, find emotional balance and wellness, and tap into spiritual growth are aligned with using cannabis as well.
I am not trying to convince you of anything. I just thought you would be curious to see what I have been up to.
And since you have been here with me from the very beginning, I feel supported and held by you in all my endeavors. And announcing it to you first feels less intimidating. It's like a soft opening. ;)
So, I am creating a cannabis education and coaching company, called Balancing Cannabis, designed to educate people on the many ways plant medicine can alleviate suffering, and facilitate self-awareness and emotional wellness. This will be in the form of in-person workshops, seminars and online content.
I will also be working with people one-on-one to offer advice and support as they navigate a sea of readily available, yet often intimidating products.
Eventually, I'll be hosting emotional wellness with cannabis retreats for women! (Woot, woot!) And as the laws continue to change in our country about cannabis, the opportunities become infinitely abundant!
I am not selling any products or trying to convince anyone of anything. I am just creating a platform for people who are curious, but perhaps nervous about trying cannabis. People who want to learn more and get some real, unbiased information.
I want to destigmatize the use of cannabis. I want to destigmatize mental illness.
I want to create a safe space for people to actually learn about the plant, the science behind it, what is happening in your body when you consume it, and more importantly. the many ways it can help people.
All that being said, I know that cannabis is still a controversial topic. I have an incredibly diverse group of people on this email list and that follow me online. I am sensitive to your perceptions and opinions about cannabis.
I have also had to work through overcoming a lot of my own fear and shame around sharing the fact that I use cannabis because of cultural and religious conditioning around the use of the plant.
But I truly believe in the medicinal properties of cannabis. It has been the only thing that has consistently helped me through episodes of depression and I continue to learn so much about myself whenever I consume cannabis. I have witnessed the ways it helps people overcome chronic pain, mental distress, digestion issues and so many others.
So, for any of you that are interested in following along or supporting me on this new endeavor of mine, I kindly ask that you do a few things:
1. Click here to sign up for my Balancing Cannabis newsletter.
2. Follow @balancingcannabis on IG and invite 1 (or 5) of your cannabis-friendly friends to do the same. (there's nothing on there yet, so don't be alarmed haha)
3. Engage with me on that new IG once it goes live. Ask me questions in the comments, tag your friends, & share my stuff.
If you're not down to clown, then no worries. This email list will remain my random thoughts and musings about love, life and our beautiful Creator.
I must say however, if you carry any judgement against cannabis or people who consume it, I really encourage you to do some research.
Cannabis is not for everyone. And that's ok. I want to help create a world where people are supported to find their own path to wellness, regardless of what is on that path. To each her own, amiright?
If you're putting yourself out there and being brave, I am cheering for you.
If you're starting from scratch again, trying to create the life you want, I am cheering for you.
If you're lost in some dark hole somewhere, wondering what is going on, I am cheering for you.
And above all, I am cheering loud as heck for my damn self.
Love you guys!
Email me back! Let me hear from ya. Down to clown?? or Nahhhh?? Love ya no matter what!
Job hunting is a lot like dating.
Which probably explains why I am not very good at it.
I've never been a date-more-than-one-person-at-a-time type of gal.
I definitely don't judge, nor do I actually care, about anyone else's dating methods, but for me, I have only ever been emotionally available to one person at a time. And the same goes for jobs.
For me, I have to really imagine and feel what it would be like to be a part of a company or a brand, so applying and interviewing at multiple jobs at the same time feels inauthentic to me. I guess the same explanation applies to dating as well.
I didn't get the awesome job I had been interviewing for. They went with someone with experience in the industry over me, but I got great feedback. So, I suppose that's a good thing, but it's funny how similar professional rejection feels to personal rejection.
"You are really great, and it was a really tough decision, but you just weren't _______ enough."
I intuitively knew on Tuesday that I didn't get it, but I didn't officially find out until Friday. So needless to say, last week was a rough week.
I am in this strange position where my authenticity has become a cornerstone to my entire existence. And what I mean by that is, that I am finding myself actually incapable of being, feeling and expressing myself that is out of alignment to my absolute truth.
There are even times when I think to myself, "This situation does not necessarily call for such honest vulnerability, so feel free to fluff it up a bit, homie."
But I literally can't do it.
A lot of people love that about me. I think it's one of the things that draws people to me and makes people very curious about me.
It's also the thing that tends to push some people away.
I am a feeler. I am sensitive and I am expressive. I navigate my world and my relationships based on how I feel and although it is not always the most sensical and socially appropriate thing to do, I can't - or won't - apologize for it.
People who are uncomfortable feeling strong feelings, will feel uncomfortable around me.
And for the very first time in my entire life, I have learned that it's not me, it's them.
People don't reject me because of my intense feelings, but they reject the feelings within themselves that they don't like, that for whatever reason, come up around me.
I used to do everything I could to prevent people from rejecting me or from changing their minds about me.
I used to do a lot of things that declared everyone else'e emotional state was more important than mine. "I am not ok unless you are ok", and that kind of bullshit.
But the truth is, I am OK even when I am not OK. I love the shit out of my broken heart and my sad mind. I am OK sitting and facing my fear. I am OK looking into my childhood and identifying situations that created false beliefs that are manifesting in my adult life. I don't run away from myself when shit gets hard.
(How does that translate onto a resume? I'll keep ya posted. )
It's easier for other people to say that I am not _______ enough, than it is for them to say, "I have grief in my heart that I can't muster the courage to face. Therefore, it's not me, it's you."
I just want you to know that there is something about you that is magical and healing and wonderful. Something designed and created by God for you specifically. The easiest way to identify what that is is to find the thing about you that some people absolutely love and some people absolutely don't.
You are medicine for the people that need you. You are your own medicine. Don't shy away from or apologize for the one thing about you that has the potential to heal souls - yours included - just because some people can't see your goodness.
I posted something on my story today that says, "If you aren't going to swim deep with me, then get out of my waters."
Either love it or leave it. I am OK either way.
Cheering for you,